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Headline: The Once Over
Sub-Headline: The Adolf Hitler Perfect Day

Publication Date: Tuesday, March 28, 1933
Historical Event: Albert Einstein Quits Germany, Renounces Citizenship
This database includes 1,047 articles about this event
Tags: Gannett full page downloadable; Refugees and Immigration; Early Acts of Persecution
Article Type: Editorial or Opinion Piece
Newspaper: Arizona Republic
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Page Section and Number: B8
Author/Byline: H.I. Phillips / Arizona Republic
Article Text: THE ADOLF HITLER PERFECT DAY

8 a. m.—Rises and calls for latest report on overnight riots, &c. Expresses keen disappointment at figures. Complains he did not sleep well because of back-firing taxicabs, and orders offending taxicab drivers executed.

8:30 a. m.—Breakfast. Does not like way sausage cakes are cooked. Orders cook thrown into a detention camp.

9 a. m.—Practices Nazi salute in front of full-length mirror.

9:30 a. m.—Dissolves Reichstag. Dissolves press. Dissolves critics. Tries to think of a way to dissolve Von Hindenburg.

• • •

10 a. m.—Summons secretary for dictation. Secretary is late responding. Dissolves secretary.

10:15 a.m.—Prepares a speech assuring nation that he is for restoring Germany to its former prestige as a leader among civilized nations. Orders extermination of Socialists and Communists.

10:30 a. m.—Orders 3,000 private homes of Jewish citizens Taided and searched for weapons and papers. Makes radio address assuring the world that he is for law and order and for the creation of a new Germany devoted to the high ideals of the Fatherland.

11a. m.—Calls for detailed report on search of Professor Einstein's residence. Is told nothing more incriminating was found than a bread knife. Becomes hysterical and dissolves the captain of the raiding party.

Noon—Looks for things to dissolve.

1:30 p. m.—Makes an address saying the Nazis wish only to make Germany a nation of which all Germans may be proud. Receives reports on wire tappings and street shootings.

• • •

2 p m. to 4 p. m.—Works on supplemental list of people he doesn't like and thinks should be dissolved, destroyed or deported. Issues statement to press saying he is creating a nation in the best traditions of German culture.

4:30 p.m.—Gets protests from United States against pogroms. Threatens to dissolve United States.

6 p. m.—Dissolves Einstein theory.

7 p. m.—Dissolves fourth dimension.

8 p. m.—Dissolves bent spaces.

9 p. m.—Dissolves science.

10 p. m.—Dissolves.
—
GRATITUDE
I walked a path,
You crossed it.
I had a heart,
I lost it.

I had a soul,
You drew it
Right out of me
And slew it.

I offered love,
You scorned it;
You took my ring
And pawned it.

But I forgive
You, honey.
I'm glad I kept
My money.
—Robert Maiko.
—
Premier Mussolini wants to pledge peace in Europe for ten years. With an option for renewal if by any chance the idea is popular.
—
This enthusiasm over the return of beer will be tempered the first time somebody tries to serve it to the guests at a house party.
History Unfolded Contributor: Steven B.
Location of Research: Newspapers.com (https://www.newspapers.com)